The pain. I love o'brien for stopping the pain that made its way up my body. The pain that shocked me to screams of begging. "Stop just stop." and after the pain came the rats. I thought 75 on the dial was bad but when i saw those nasty varmints in the cage my blood curled within and i stopped breathing. The one thing that would make me go against Julia is the rats. With their beady eyes and yearning for my eye balls, i couldn't go through with it. I would die for the Brotherhood. That is what i thought. When i found that wasn't true i thought, well at least i could die for Julia.I wouldn't give her up no matter what. But i said Do it to Julia!Do it to Julia. How could i. Looking back i am ashamed; completely and utterly ashamed. When o'brien heard those words he knew i had changed. All those hours of torture had paid off and i had given the party my soul.
How could I?
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