Having to go back to the "real world" is a true wake up call. Having Julia nestled in my arms, all thoughts of the party and Big Brother were gone. But once back in the city, it is like a cramped cage in a dark room. All i can think about is when i will see Julia next which is quite dangerous. I hope i don't come off as a struck-by-cupid guy to the people watching me through the telescreens. Facecrime has always been an issue. The slightest twitch of the eye can engender suspicious accusation. And now with my lovey dovey goo goo eyes i must be even more cautious. I yearn to get a heavy rock and hurl it at the telescreens, crushing the machine along with any other watchful eyes. I want to barbarically tear down all "Big Brother is Watching you" posters and watch them burn in the flames of a fire.
Talking with Julia, it seems i love her even more. I empathize for her having to live with a bunch of women who spit back whatever the Party tells them. She wants everything as simple as possible. Even though her beliefs are a little different than mine, i feel i have a powerful enough voice to maybe change her. Not in a brainwashing way, just a rational laying out the wrongdoings of our society.
I told her the story of the time i was hiking with Katherine and the community. The two of us had gotten lost, so we were absolutely alone. She was leaning over the cliff and in that moment i knew i could push her over and no one would ever know who did it. "why didn't i?" Well, i honestly don't know. Julia and katherine couldn't be more oppoiste and as Julia drew a map in the dirt showing me how to get home safely, i just wanted to kiss her and never let her go.
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